Updated: Jul 20
What Sushmita Sen, Priyanka Chopra, Malaika Arora, Urmila Martondkar, Farah Khan have common???
Well, these women dated (and some married) younger guys… On an average age difference of 9-15 years and all them are being age – shamed, termed ”Cougar”. Their personal lives have been dissected time and again in public forum, social media and honestly everywhere…Women who date younger men encounter fascinated curiosity, judgment where as men is relationships with younger women are simply…’Men in Relationships’
But did the same thing happened ever With Sanjay Dutt, Shahid Kapoor, Aamir Khan or Ranbir Kapoor of the world… Neahhh!!!
I could have given real life examples from different walk of life but I chose celebrities over real examples because in our sub-consciousness mind we idealize them.One of my close friend was seeing a guy 4 yrs younger to her and the major hindrance in their marriage was the age gap…Why we don’t scrutinize the relationship between an older guy and a younger girl but flip side is not acceptable, not advisable in our society.
Does relationship has anything to do with ’AGE’? And if yes, then why only age of a girl matters!
Why society got this double standard?
Why society can\’t handle if the woman is older than the man?
Love doesn’t care if a girl is older or younger but society does. And in many cases people are obsessed with age of the girl and they safely name it as ’Custom’ Coming to the impediments, it’s multi-level. Hindrances from the society, obstacles from parents and if everything goes well then clog in the guy’s mind itself. We have seen our great grandparents ,grandparents and for few even parents having age gap of more than 10 years or even more and we have assimilated the same. We 've grown up with the traditional idea of a husband protecting the wife, caring for her, earning for her after they are married.
That can be the only reason we are maintaining safe distance from any changes in the norm of marriage. But things have changed today because both are qualified and earning, taking care of each other and taking care of family.
Does this age difference or the lack of the difference in age between spouses affect the relationship?
I am no relationship expert but still trying to pinpoint and trying to find out the logic.
A significant age difference doesn’t make a relationship any less real or meaningful. The foundation and the building blocks of any relationship are:
How can we forget ’Sexual Compatibility’, ’Maturity in Relationship’, ’Maturity in Parenting’ are the things which will be an added advantage if the girl is older. When a woman is older to a man in a relationship or a marriage, she is able to handle the man sensitively and caringly because of her maturity. In such relationships, the guy receives a lot of pampering, care and affection, and that makes him stick to his spouse for long. But these women are sometimes called as cougar, don’t you think that’s a bad word to describe women?
Few strange thoughts:
”But I’d like to have children and older women are less fertile.” Today, thanks to prenatal screening, most women have a high probability of having a healthy baby through their 30s and even 40s. For many people, the difference in fertility rate is too small to trump the factors cited above.
Should you make such a major life decision based on some narrow-minded people’s definition of normalcy?
Age doesn’t matter as long as the couple is compatible sexually, interpersonally and in values. Don’t let age dominate your relationship. Don't you think it’s just another barrier which women need to break.
So women, be strong ,hold his hand with love and compassion . You never know, you might change a social norm and inspire many more …